Don't Hate Valentines Day...

I realized how few people actually like valentines day. Apparently singles don't like it because it reminds them of their single status, guys in couples don't like it because it just one more thing they have to remember, and they feel pressured to appease their girlfriend/wife by getting her an expensive gift, and the women in couples don't like it because it's never quite right, no matter what they get.

So I guess that leaves me as the only person in the whole world who likes Valentine's day.


Don't get me wrong, the above reasons are pretty legit reasons for dislike but I think that people don't realize the positives. They don't look for the reasons that could make them like valentines day. For example, chocolate is about to go on sale! Single people GO BUY CHOCOLATE ON DISCOUNT! And besides, valentines doesn't have to be all about the couples. take the time to show your appreciation for friends, siblings, mentors, and parents. They need to feel the love too!

Guys, just try to put some thought into it. it doesn't need to be crazy expensive, it just needs to show her that some one out there cares. And don't just focus on your significant other, get something for your mom too.

Ladies, no matter what he gives you, he tried to express his love, and we have to cut the guys some slack at times. And we shouldn't be content with just receiving, we should give as well.



In fact, I really like the Japanese tradition for valentine's day. The idea is that the girls give the men in their life chocolate on Valentine's day, and then a month later, on March 14th, the boys that received the chocolate give the girl a gift in return, which can be anything. Cool huh?

Of course I'm biased because my birthday is the day afterwards. I don't know something about my birthday being near, and being surrounded by chocolates, roses, pinks, reds, and oodles of hearts just makes me really happy. So I'm always supper excited despite not really having anything to look forward to on the actual day. Still I have received an odd valentine here and there over the years, and I love making and giving them so... I'll take it!

in closing I'll leave you with the best valentine that I have ever received:



Yes Link, I will be your valentine! (romantic sigh, followed by an extremely girlish giggle)

~Your ever romantic Princess

The Spark of Love

This post shall be a curious one, and I run a certain risk of revealing a generous slice of my madness. Nonetheless, I lay it out here, like an excerpt from my own personal Necronomicon.

To introduce my topic: What is it that makes a man notice a woman? More so, what makes one woman stand out from the crowd and captivate a particular dude, in extreme cases driving him to crushing obsession? There's no one answer to that question, for a number of good reasons, and the following doesn't attempt to provide a comprehensive answer. Consider it more a meditation.

Certainly, oftentimes, physical beauty plays a role, especially in the initial attraction. But ideals of feminine beauty are often as numerous as the men who hold them, and almost universally a man thinks the woman he loves is the pinnacle of beauty--not necessarily because everyone else thinks so, but because his love enhances and reveals her native beauty. This is one of the properties of that unique love which is termed "romantic".

I tend to think that men usually have their attention caught by some tiny spark, perhaps the shade of her eyes, the sound of her laugh, the unique shape of her smile, some skill of hers, the way she speaks, the way she treats a friend or a relative. A tiny characteristic, unique in the eyes of the man, highlights her among a crowd and attracts his particular attention. Once that attention is caught, it might quickly die. . .or it might find other things to attract it, other good qualities of mind, spirit, and body that give that spark fuel and allow it to build into a flame.

For example, one of my favorite movies. . .Beauty and the Beast. (Save your laughter for when I explain the nature of brotherly friendship from Sam and Max: Surfin' the Highway, people!) The movie presents two men who love (or believe they love) Belle. Gaston's attachment is based on the rawest kind of physical attraction, combined with a sort of pride--she attracts him simply by being, in his judgment, the top of her class in sheer beauty, and thus the only woman worthy of his notice. His affection never really grows beyond that or seeks to comprehend the rest of her self--it remains very much fixated on her beauty as a kind of trophy to aid to his collection.

The Beast, on the other hand, seems to find his initial spark in her kindness, initially her willingness to exchange her freedom for her father's, and then in her willingness to bind his wounds after the wolf attack. His first confession of loves comes after her kindness is demonstrated a third time, once more sacrificing her own happiness for her father's well-being. Certainly, he appreciates her beauty, but he also finds delight in her love of books, her manners, her playfulness. A love sparked by her simple kindness expands and gains dimension, until it becomes something general, encompassing the totality of her person. Arguably, Belle undergoes a similar process (her spark is his courage, fed by his generosity, his gentleness, and his own kindness).

Among the reasons I think the story of the Phantom of the Opera is so enduring (been going solid for a good century) is the dark force of the Phantom's attachment for Christine. Here, his love begins and ends with the heartbreaking beauty of her voice. One gets the feeling, both in the original novel and in the Webber adaption, that it wouldn't matter to the Phantom if Christine were the ten-time winner of the Homeliest Woman in France Pagent--her angelic voice is everything to him, the perfection of music, the fulfilment of all the beauty he's ever hungered for. She is his "angel of music", she alone can sing his music as it was meant to be sung. His love for her voice is nearly idolatrous.

Neither book nor musical is particularly about Raoul, but he arguably takes a more complete view of Christine--he knew her as a child and loves her personality, her beauty, her innocence. He surely isn't deaf to her voice, but it isn't the only thing he loves, nor does it seem to be the foundation of his love.

The Phantom's eventual decision to let her go is rendered all the more poignant by the fact that he is sacrificing, not merely the possibility for love, but to some degree the art which his captivated his soul. His last line is: "It's over now, the music of the night!"

These initial moments of spark are apparent in all kinds of other movies, from Princess Mononoke to The Sound of Music. But, um, perhaps my keyboard has rattled on for long enough.

In conclusion, here's a picture of Sam and Max.
Peace out, all, from the Knight of the Woeful Contenance, Don Quixote de la Madison!

Ramblings on Gender

Recently I have been doing a lot of thinking on the subject of gender, gender roles, and interactions between the sexes. It is a complex subject and I feel that before hand I should warn you that my thoughts are highly disorganized, and try as I might some male bashing may slip in. I'm sorry guys, it happens.

On principle I am against giving the guys a hard time. Not to say that men can't have very unfair assumptions and attitudes, but I feel this is over emphasized in our modern society. In fact I feel that these days that we are in fact over compensating for the past and discriminating against men, and not bothering to give them the benefit of doubt. I guess when there is such drastic change, there is always a bit of whiplash of some sort.

Of course upon hearing this, some may ask,"so... are you a feminist, princess?" and I don't have a very good response for that. I think because I believe in the equal dignity of women I am a feminist, but I'm a very strange feminist. For one thing I'm rather pessimistic about the whole thing. While we have come a long way, a lot of it is forced and over the top, and I feel until we can appreciate both the differences and the similarities between the sexes there will never be true equality. I think it will happen,just probably not be during my life time.

On one hand there is the problem of holding each other at arms length because the two have such clear differences. We both hold the same dignity and intellect that is intrinsic to being human, so why don't we stand together, why do we fixate on the differences? As I have said I doubt this will be fully addressed during my lifetime. But then again this may just be due to our fallen nature, and in fact there is a certain amount of recognition of differences that is healthy. I guess I just don't understand why we think these differences are perceived as bad.

I mean, there are times when I just want to prance about and say, "thank goodness I'm a girl!". I get to wear pretty dresses, I'm more likely to get to hold a baby, I have the power to bring a child into this world, I can inspire in men great emotion for both great good and great evil. I hope some day to become the one person cheer leading squad for that one special some one who has promised to both protect and love me as long as we both shall live. Truly I am a being of both power and beauty. I was created in the image and likeness of God for a special purpose. No, I would not trade my femininity for anything in the world.

But what good is all of this if there are no manly men? We are both incomplete with out the other, and on no account should this be tampered with by repressing manly nature. Let men be men, and let women be women. I'm not saying men can't be good nurses, and women can't be good firefighters, I'm just saying that we should be happy for the little differences that give our live variety and joy.

But alas we are fallen... and try as we might, nothing is perfect. But despite my pessimism I feel that nothing good will happen unless we keep working. So take time to appreciate your own gender, then take some more to marvel at how well we mesh by our differences.

~Your meditative Princess