To introduce my topic: What is it that makes a man notice a woman? More so, what makes one woman stand out from the crowd and captivate a particular dude, in extreme cases driving him to crushing obsession? There's no one answer to that question, for a number of good reasons, and the following doesn't attempt to provide a comprehensive answer. Consider it more a meditation.
Certainly, oftentimes, physical beauty plays a role, especially in the initial attraction. But ideals of feminine beauty are often as numerous as the men who hold them, and almost universally a man thinks the woman he loves is the pinnacle of beauty--not necessarily because everyone else thinks so, but because his love enhances and reveals her native beauty. This is one of the properties of that unique love which is termed "romantic".
I tend to think that men usually have their attention caught by some tiny spark, perhaps the shade of her eyes, the sound of her laugh, the unique shape of her smile, some skill of hers, the way she speaks, the way she treats a friend or a relative. A tiny characteristic, unique in the eyes of the man, highlights her among a crowd and attracts his particular attention. Once that attention is caught, it might quickly die. . .or it might find other things to attract it, other good qualities of mind, spirit, and body that give that spark fuel and allow it to build into a flame.
For example, one of my favorite movies. . .Beauty and the Beast. (Save your laughter for when I explain the nature of brotherly friendship from Sam and Max: Surfin' the Highway, people!) The movie presents two men who love (or believe they love) Belle. Gaston's attachment is based on the rawest kind of physical attraction, combined with a sort of pride--she attracts him simply by being, in his judgment, the top of her class in sheer beauty, and thus the only woman worthy of his notice. His affection never really grows beyond that or seeks to comprehend the rest of her self--it remains very much fixated on her beauty as a kind of trophy to aid to his collection.
The Beast, on the other hand, seems to find his initial spark in her kindness, initially her willingness to exchange her freedom for her father's, and then in her willingness to bind his wounds after the wolf attack. His first confession of loves comes after her kindness is demonstrated a third time, once more sacrificing her own happiness for her father's well-being. Certainly, he appreciates her beauty, but he also finds delight in her love of books, her manners, her playfulness. A love sparked by her simple kindness expands and gains dimension, until it becomes something general, encompassing the totality of her person. Arguably, Belle undergoes a similar process (her spark is his courage, fed by his generosity, his gentleness, and his own kindness).
Among the reasons I think the story of the Phantom of the Opera is so enduring (been going solid for a good century) is the dark force of the Phantom's attachment for Christine. Here, his love begins and ends with the heartbreaking beauty of her voice. One gets the feeling, both in the original novel and in the Webber adaption, that it wouldn't matter to the Phantom if Christine were the ten-time winner of the Homeliest Woman in France Pagent--her angelic voice is everything to him, the perfection of music, the fulfilment of all the beauty he's ever hungered for. She is his "angel of music", she alone can sing his music as it was meant to be sung. His love for her voice is nearly idolatrous.
Neither book nor musical is particularly about Raoul, but he arguably takes a more complete view of Christine--he knew her as a child and loves her personality, her beauty, her innocence. He surely isn't deaf to her voice, but it isn't the only thing he loves, nor does it seem to be the foundation of his love.
The Phantom's eventual decision to let her go is rendered all the more poignant by the fact that he is sacrificing, not merely the possibility for love, but to some degree the art which his captivated his soul. His last line is: "It's over now, the music of the night!"
These initial moments of spark are apparent in all kinds of other movies, from Princess Mononoke to The Sound of Music. But, um, perhaps my keyboard has rattled on for long enough.
In conclusion, here's a picture of Sam and Max.
Peace out, all, from the Knight of the Woeful Contenance, Don Quixote de la Madison!
Sean, you're too damn cool.
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